Im Jake. Im 20. Woops I didn't do my homework again.

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daytimeblogger:

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

what a country

nauseabonde:

when somebody joins tumblr

melociraptors:

satsunon:

when you wait for the beat to drop before you start throwing snacks at people

idk what this is but I love it

psyducked:

amandabymes:

At the dentist like

image

Can I have the number of your dentist?

minfotibaken:

youre-a-fucking-disgrace:

Why does he look like he’s being fucked

Because it’s from an E.T. porno. And please don’t ask how I know that. I’ve just seen things.

hattedmistress:

oneeyedhaise:

mother i must feed

Mother, why do you cry?

The Devil is real. And he’s not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. ‘Cause he’s a fallen angel, and he used to be God’s favorite.

American Horror Story, Season 1

(Probably my favorite quote from the entire series.)


jamarrob:

thoughtsareextraordinary:

WOW

my mama always taught us to do this 👌

vaporheart-archive:

i think something went wrong

fuckshitavenue:

Me:

image

You:

image

makuta-tobi:

GUYS NEW MEGAS

littlemammal:

at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”